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Objection |
You should… |
Try saying… |
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“I can’t leave my spouse/kids/significant other.”
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Make arrangements for someone else to take care of the kids. If appropriate, include the children in the intervention. If the spouse/significant other is present at the intervention, he/she should explain why the individual has not been a good parent/spouse in his/her addiction.
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“You can be away from your family for a little while now instead of risking losing them forever.”
“Susie and Billy would really benefit from you getting clean.”
“By getting sober, you are giving yourself a chance to be the best wife you can be.”
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“I can’t leave my dog/cat.”
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Already have the pet packed and ready to say goodbye to the individual once the intervention is over. Make arrangements with a local kennel, family member, or close friend to look after the pet while the individual is in treatment.
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“Aunt Sue already has a bed set up for Fido in her apartment.”
“Mike is going to take Fido to a 30-day kennel tonight.”
“Carrie is going to stop by your home each day to feed Fluffy and change her litter.”
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“I’ll lose my job if I go away.”
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Encourage the individual to talk to the HR department at his or her workplace. Educate yourself and the individual on the Federal Medical Leave Act, an act that may protect his/her job while in treatment. Explain to him/her that the addiction may lead to job loss anyway.
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“Your company may hold your job for you.”
“We’re sure your boss wants you to get better, too.”
“I’m sure getting help will improve your productivity and performance at work.”
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“Maybe I’ll go tomorrow—I’m not ready today.”
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Remember the goal of this intervention is to get your loved one to commit to treatment today. Remind him or her that tickets are bought and reservations are made. Reiterate that this is a one-time offer.
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“You’ll be just as scared tomorrow.”
“The rehabilitation facility is expecting you tonight and we have already bought your plane tickets for 6:00.”
“If you continue down the path of addiction, there may not be a tomorrow.”
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“(Family member/friend) isn’t here.”
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Inform everyone important to the individual that the intervention is taking place. In the event that someone can’t make it, they can write the individual a letter, call during the intervention, or even participate via webcam.
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“Mike isn’t here because his daughter is in the hospital, but he wrote a letter to you that he wants me to read.”
“We will be calling Sandy after Joe reads his letter. She is waiting with feelings she wants to share with you.”
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“Treatment is too long/far away.”
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Research to find an appropriate program for the individual. In some cases, the best facility is far from home. Explain why you chose the particular center. Explain why the particular length of stay will be most successful in helping your loved one. Find out if the facility you chose will let you visit the individual.
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“People with similar addictions generally have the best results with a 6-week program.”
“We’ll be there to visit you in a month.”
“6 weeks will go by quickly compared to 10 years of using.”
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“Why am I the only one going when (other family member/friend) has a problem too?”
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Keep the focus on your loved one—you are concerned with his or her health right now. Explore help options for other group members, and make treatment arrangements if/when appropriate.
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“Aunt Sue is getting help for her codependency. She starts CoDA tomorrow.”
“We all saw what drugs and alcohol did to Uncle Bob, and we want you to get treatment so that the same doesn’t happen to you.”
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“How will I pay my mortgage/car insurance/credit card bills while I’m gone?”
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Figure out how you can get access to the individual’s accounts while he/she is gone so you can take care of payments for him/her. Gather everything that will need to be paid and designate who will be in charge of payments. You may need to offer financial assistance.
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“We will take care of these things for you while you are gone.”
“Joe already has everything in place that he needs to pay your mortgage. We don’t want you to have to worry about these things while you’re getting help.”
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“I need a drink/to get high right now.”
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Recognize that your loved one may be struggling with a physical dependence on the substance. Select a treatment center that offers a medical detox. Such a facility can provide advice on this subject before the intervention takes place.
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“We understand you have a physical dependence on the substance, so we have chosen a treatment center with a medical detox so that you can stop using comfortably.”
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“I have things to do.”
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Be aware that a vague statement such as this is usually masking fear of stopping use or going to treatment.
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“We can take care of anything you need us to while you are getting help.”
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“I don’t need help” or, “My use is under control.”
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Remember why the group is conducting the intervention. It has become evident to you that your loved one has a serious problem. Give the individual your prepared examples of the addiction’s effects.
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“We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t think you needed help.”
“We know you better than anyone, and we see the damage that your addiction has caused.”
“Give rehab a try, you can always go back to drugs and alcohol if you wish.”
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“No, I’m not going.”
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Remind the individual of what you are prepared to do if he/she doesn’t accept treatment today. Emphasize why you think treatment is necessary. Emphasize that this is a one-time gift you are giving your loved one.
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“If you decline to go to treatment today, you may not ever have this opportunity again.”
“If you do not get clean, you may end up in jail or dead.”
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“I hate everything in my life, I don’t care if my use kills me.”
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Remember that your loved one may be suffering from a mental condition or trauma that contributed to his/her use. Find a treatment center that can diagnose and treat dual diagnosis.
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“Treatment can help you identify what is making you feel this way.”
“You can talk to a therapist in treatment about these feelings.”
“Rehab can help you work through this, too.”
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“I feel like you are ganging up on me/nobody’s on my side.”
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Remind your loved one how much you care about him/her. Emphasize that the intervention and treatment arrangements are in his/her best interest.
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“We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t love you.”
“We want what’s best for you, and we believe that is treatment.”
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